The Theory
by LadyPup
Summary: Harry Potter is REAL! A story about the only way this statement could be true. Sort of. Just somehting that came to me when I was sleep deprived and joking with a friend. It's defenetly different, I know that. Come on, give it a try, you know you want to.


Wow. I actually did it. I had the patients to actually write enough of a story to post it. I never thought I'd see the day. I probably shouldhave beenstuding, but you all profit by my laziness. Lovly, ain't it?

On with the disclaimer. Anything you recognize isn't mine. Abby, Kat, The Plot and The Theory itself though, are. And I'm increadibly proud of The Plot and TheTheory, so please don't steal them.If you do, I must warn you, I have a legion of chocolate frogs at my disposal. They can be quite vicious. Just trust me.

Anyhoo, before you dive in to reading, I have a bit of a warning. This takes a while to get going. If you don't see Harry Potter within the first three quarters of the story of so, calm down, relax, and read the rest of it. He's in there. I hope you like it, and all reviews are loved.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I thoroughly hate grad students," gripped a jaded freshmen in the farthest back corner of the at least 500 person lecture hall, "as a rule. But she is seriously the most annoying one I have ever had to suffer through a lecture for." The nasally, high pitched voice of the graduate student in the front of the room drifted back up to the freshmen. Despite the distance, he could hear each word she uttered. Her voice had an almost surreal carrying ability, as well as vaguely reminding him of nails on a chalk board. Every few words, the class cringed in unison. "Tell me again, why are we here?" his voice was slightly muffled from resting on his arms.

"Because we need this class for our science GUR," the girl to his left answered. They cringed again. "But you have to admit, she is an interesting study on just how nerdy a person can get. I mean, seriously, have you seen her clothes?"

"I can truthfully say, no."

"Well, you should try looking up once in a while." He grunted in response. "Since you seem _so_ interested in her attire and yet are lacking in motor skills, or any skills in general," he grunted again, "I shall describe her to you."

"You are kindness embodied," he mumbled, head still firmly imbedded in his arms.

"I know," she sighed. "Now, how to begin. Really, I don't know where to start." She stopped and pondered the woman in front of the class. She blinked. "Oh, sod it. I want to make fun of her with someone, not describe her. Just look, lazy ass." He mumbled something unintelligible in response. "_Now,_ Sleeping-Ugly." So saying, she grabbed his head and yanked it up.

The woman was a sight to see. Short, most likely under 5'3, and a bit squat, she gave off a garden gnomish vibe. She had a massive amount of unruly brown hair, held back by a bluish scrunchy. Her hair seemed to defy gravity, sticking up at odd angles and making her resemble Albert Einstein without the mustache. She had round, bottle thick glasses that magnified her eyes even from the way back and a nose that seemed too big for her face. Over all, she resembled a caricature come to life.

Her clothing was just as bad as the students comment had suggested it to be. The woman had no sense of fashion to speak of, and judging by her clothing, either got dressed in the dark or was legally color blind. She had on olive green zip off pants, the kind that hikers wear, that were a bit too short and showed off her mismatched socks, one blue, one black, and clunky sandals. Her shirt was too long, going down to just above her knees, and fitted like a man's shirt. Being bright lime green, it clashed horribly with her pants. By leaning closer, the freshmen could just make out the picture on the shirt. It was two boys and a girl with yellow writing above them that looked suspiciously like the Harry Potter movie logo. Over it all, she had a painfully white lab coat.

"Wow," he said. "Just, _wow._"

"Didn't I tell you? Horrid, isn't it." She smiled at the still gaping boy next to her.

"I'd have to agree. Let the merciless taunting begin."

Before the other student could reply, the clock hit 12:50, and as one, every student stopped what they were doing, grabbed their bags, and fled as fast as they could. The graduate's voice could still be heard under the clatter and rustle of bags and feet.

"So you all remember, lab starts on Friday, be sure to bring your pre-labs. And goggles, don't forget them! Oh, and homework is due Monday, be sure to bring it" the hall was completely empty, so she lowered her voice a notch, "to class." Staring a bit forlornly at the empty seats, she said to herself, "Class dismissed. Have a nice day, everyone," gathered up the scattered books and papers on the front desk, doing her best not to drop anything but failing, and headed for the door. As an afterthought, she went back to the board, and hastily wiped it clean. She paused for a moment before she finished, staring at the line written there in her best handwriting that said, "Hi class! My name is Abby Porter." With one violent sweep of the eraser, it was gone, and Abby was done with the most terrifying class of her whole life. It was her first in front of the class, instead of in it.

Abby raced to her office. She had barley 3 hours before her next class, thankfully as a student this time, and she still had a lab write up to finish, a thesis to research, and a paper to write. If she pushed, Abby figured that she could get about a quarter of it done during her break, but the rest had to be done that night. Both the paper and the lab were due the next day, at 10 and noon respectively, and she needed her thesis by the day after that. Her entire summer had been spent doing graduate research, all of which had to be summed up and written out for credit immediately after the courses finished, and not a moment before.

Abby reached the TA office about 5 minutes later, after sprinting half way across the campus to get there. She dumped her notes and lecture plans on the desk off to the far right, and grabbed her backpack from behind the it. Actually bursting at the seams, her backpack would make a muscle builder cringe. There were about 10 books of various weights and sizes inside, along with all her lecture notes and lab results from that summer. The pathetic thing was actually being held together by string and duct tape. Hoisting it expertly onto her back, she was just heading out the door when a girl with straight brown hair wearing a chemistry tee shirt walked through the door.

"Abby! There you are! Kevin and I were looking for you. How'd your first class go?" The girl stopped directly in the doorway, making it imposable for Abby to leave. She looked at Abby expectantly, waiting for an answer, as Abby franticly bobbed back and forth, looking for a way around the girl blocking her way. When she didn't answer immediately, the girl continued. "Did it go alright? I know you were worried about teaching and all, do you think you did OK?" She seemed about to continue when Abby impatiently cut her off.

"Look, Kat, I'd love to talk, but I have a multitude of things to do, and they all need to be done yesterday. So, do you think I can postpone telling you how it all went? At least until I don't have 14 hours of work to do and 12 hours to do it in." Without waiting for a reply, she gave Kat a distracted smile, and shoved past her, out of the office. "Thanks."

Kat snaked an arm out and caught the end of Abby's gargantuan backpack, almost pulling Abby backward at the sudden stop.

"Have you eaten?"

Abby thought about it. No, come to think of it, she hadn't. She'd been to busy to stop for food that morning. The embarrassed look she gave Kat resembled that of a scolded puppy dog. "No," she mumbled meekly.

"Here." Kat began rummaging in her own, more normal sized backpack. "Take this." She held out a slightly squished sandwich. "At lease sneak it into the library, and eat it while you're working. If you don't you won't eat for days, and we both know it." Abby took the meager food a bit apprehensively. You never knew how long something had been in Kat's backpack. But if she didn't take it, and if she didn't have an empty rapper to show for it the next time she ran into Kat, the other girl would be furious, and proceed to shove food down Abby's throat until she felt like she would literally explode. She had done just that last year. Twice, actually.

With some unintelligible word of thanks, Abby was free of the mothering instincts of her best friend. She shoved the sandwich into her backpack, somehow, and took off at a trot for the library.

The library was Abby's haven. That and the physics building made up her actual home, since she was there more then she was at her flat. The pizza man actually knew the back way into the physics building, and had it recorded as her address for deliveries. She'd also spent several nights on the couch in the reading room in the library, after falling asleep while studying or simply deciding that it made more sense to take a quick cat nap there instead of going all the way back to her flat.

The library was a huge place. Towering above the campus, it was 6 stories high, and made entirely of red brick. Abby didn't know when it was made, but it had the look of an ancient building, complete with gargoyles. The roof was steeply sloped, and the top story was actually more of an attic that had been turned into the reading room when the library's collection had gotten so huge it took up all of the other 5 floors. Light came in through dormer windows, set out from the roof, each complete with a window seat and cushion. The Associated Student Union had outfitted the upper story with couches, chairs, tables and cushions. Lots and lots of cushions. The lighting was sort of dim, but it gave the place a homey ambiance. Students would go there to study, read, chat or sleep, all in a very comfortable atmosphere.

Abby loved that room. It reminded her of what she imagined a Hogwarts common room to look like, and spending time there made her feel like she was part of the stories she loved so much.

Collapsing into a chair, Abby pulled out the now extremely mushed sandwich. She gingerly unwrapped it, and skeptically considered what kind it was before deciding it was best to know as little about the food-like substance as possible. She stuffed as much into her mouth as she could, finishing the thing in three gigantic bites with out ever actually tasting it.

She pushed up her glasses, pulled a wide, flat hair band onto her head to keep her hair out of her face, and began to carefully undo the duct tape that held her backpack together. Once it was open, she hoisted it up above her head, and upended the contents onto the table and floor. She could never resist doing that when nobody was around. She shuffled through her research papers, sorting out the ones she needed, and got to work.

Besides class that day, Abby never left the room in the attic of the library. Since it was just the beginning of the term she had the whole place entirely to her self, and she made good use of the solitude, plowing through all of her work due the next day by 5 o'clock the next morning. She allowed herself 3 hours of sleep, then got right back to work on her thesis, working all through the next day, leaving only to go to class and forgetting to eat. She finished actually ahead of schedule, around 6 at night, and collapsed exhaustedly on the couch in the reading room, falling asleep the instant her head hit the hundreds of cushions. Kat found her there an hour later when she came to make sure Abby was still alive.

Somehow, Abby found herself at her flat, on her couch, being force fed blackened macaroni and cheese by a determined Kat. "I knew you were going to burn yourself out. You always do. Every year, I have to rescue you from death by starvation and over work." She shoved a forkful of the blackish goop at Abby. "Eat. I demand that you eat."

"Kat, this isn't even edible when the person expected to consume it is entirely conscious. What ever gave you the preposterous idea that I could force it down? It tastes like rust and charcoal."

"Well, if you hadn't worked yourself to the point of exhaustion again or if you had, God forbid! eaten yesterday, I wouldn't have been forced to cook." The blackened noodles waved in front of Abby's face. "Now eat, or I shall be forced to try the airplane trick I use on my cousin."

"Fine. No, no I said, give that here! I am not eating it off the fork while you're holding it, give me that!" Snatching the fork, Abby closed her eyes, and swallowed the entire contents of the utensil, with as little chewing as possible.

All told, Abby actually managed to get down a good portion of the so called food. It took a while, but she really was hungry, and didn't have the energy to make anything more edible. Kat nodded with satisfaction, assured her friend wasn't going to expire any time soon, and removed the bowl from her hands.

"Now, to bed. You are not going to class tomorrow, no mater what. I'll take your thesis in for you, but as far as you're concerned, you are staying in bed, sleeping, and eating." Cutting off all Abby's protests with a decided no, she hoisted her up, also not with out protest, and deposited her in bed. "Now what are you going to do?"

"Sleep, for 9 uninterrupted hours, get up and eat breakfast, and sleep for another 5."

"At least." She nodded. "Now good night, and take care of yourself next time. Please? I don't want you to die before you graduate."

"Ah, but we both know I will. Good night Kat, and thank you."

But regardless of all her attempts to sleep, she couldn't. She woke up for the 6th time around 1 am, and decided to give it up as a lost cause. She tumbled out of bed, wide awake, and padded her way over to her favorite thing in her position, her baby, her pride and joy, her computer.

Scattered around the computer were hundreds of scraps of paper, torn bits of notes, sketches, pictures and papers with very scribbly, unintelligible handwriting on them. There were posters on all the walls, and pictures taped up over the posters. Everything was connected, related in some way, and it all tied back to the stack of 7 books sitting on her desk. Harry Potter. Abby was obsessed.

Tonight, Abby planned to do something she had been meaning to all summer, but had never had the time. She was going to write up an all encompassing Harry Potter timeline, perfect it, and if she had time, post it on her wall. She had all the bits and pieces, or most of them, but she had never put them together. The apparently random scraps on her desk were really her very organized notes on who was born when, who died when, and how old the characters would be now.

Hours past. The last time she had checked the clock, it was 4 in the morning. It should be getting light by now, and she was barley even half way done. "Harry's seven years older, Ginny's six, but that's unimportant. We only want Harry. Every thing comes from Harry. So they came out when we were ten, seven years more then ten is 17, and 17 is seventh year," she muttered. As she worked, she franticly checked off bits of paper, searching around her for the scraps she needed, discarding those she didn't in a haphazard manner. Her sleep deprived brain was barely functioning, but she didn't want to stop. "17, seventh year. Sixth, Voldy showed up, seventh, he reeked havoc. Came out at ten, Harry 17, seventh year, Voldy . . . havoc . . ." she trailed off, her eyes unfocused and her frantic writing stopped.

"The seventh year was the war. The books came out when Harry would be fighting the war. During the war, wizards were much more visible, and when Harry Potter came out, every one dressed up in wizard wear." She was talking much more slowly, considering each word before she said it. "It's a cover up. One huge, staged, cover up." As her theory began to take shape in her overworked mind, she began to smile. This was what she always dreamed of, a way to prove that the wizarding world existed. "They exist. It's real. I was never sure before, but now. . ." A full out grin split her face, and with that, all semblance of logic fled her mind.

"Harry Potter is REAL!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now that I've got you hooked (I hope) I have another warning. I am not the most reliable up-dater. So it may take a while for me to add the next chapter. In the mean time, drop me a review, let me know what you think, good of bad. I can use all the constructive criticism I can get. And no, I'm not trying to coerce you into reviewing by threatining not to up date, I hate it when people do that, I'm just warning you. Anyhoo, hope you like it.

Lovs from the frogs and me,

LadyPup


End file.
